Jean-Alain Boumsong is the worst player to have ever appeared in the Premier League. You may wish to argue this with me, but you’ll lose: there may have been players who on occasion were total crap, even those who have a reputation that isn’t truly deserved, but Boumsong was consistently and unfalteringly terrible.
Boumsong started his career with French team Le Havre before joining Auxerre. He notably scored the 89th-minute winning goal in Auxerre’s 2-1 win in the 2003 French Cup Final against Paris Saint-Germain and consequently was a long time target for then Liverpool manager Gérard Houllier, indeed, the press speculated that it was only a matter of time before Boumsong signed for Liverpool. You think I’m making this up, don’t you?
However, as Boumsong was quickly to become a free agent, his agent, the Monaco based Scot Willie McKay negotiated the best sign-on fee to the player for Boumsong from Glasgow Rangers. As a result, Boumsong joined Alex McLeish at the buggers in blue from Glasgow in 2004, signing a five year contract. Boumsong quickly adapted to the Scottish game, what with it not being very good and all, and showed his apparent skill as a centre half, leading to rumours that his stay in Glasgow may be shorter than expected – many bigger clubs were credited with an interest. Halfway through the 2004–05 season, Newcastle United, under new manager Graeme Souness (who else?), made an £8 million bid for him, which Rangers accepted in a ‘bite their bloody hands off‘ kind of way, in a deal that was finalized once the January 2005 transfer window opened.
Boumsong signed a 5½-year contract with the Magpies. However, as Boumsong had played the requisite number of games for Rangers that season, he still received a Scottish Championship Winners Medal, despite having been a Newcastle player for around five months by the time Rangers won the title. The £8 million transfer fee raised eyebrows, as the player, having so recently been out of contract, had joined Rangers for free just months before, at which point Newcastle showed no interest in signing him.
This transfer is one of those about which the Stevens inquiry report in June 2007 expressed concerns:
‘There remains inconsistencies in evidence provided by Graeme Souness – a former manager of the club – and Freddy Shepherd – apparently acting in an undefined role but not as a club official – as to their respective roles in transfer negotiations.’
He was sold to a clearly desperate Juventus 18 months later for, miraculously given how piss poor he had played, over a third of the fee Newcastle paid for him, a fee of £3.26 million, with future incentives promised to Newcastle relating to Juventus’ future performance (not his performances, thankfully).
Boumsong moved to French club Olympique Lyonnais on a three-and-a-half year contract in January, 2008. Those among you with a knowledge of the French game may see the direct correlation between his signing and the end of Lyon’s domestic domination. Coincidence? Boumsong has stated he made this move in order to increase his chances to make Raymond Domenech’s EURO 2008 squad, thus indicating just how bad things have got for the French national team that they would even consider this muppet. He made his debut for the club in 4-1 win over Sochaux at Stade de Gerland on February 8th, 2008.
Boumsong has a degree in mathematics, which unfortunately proved of no help whatsoever while he was performing this series of right cockups…
Increasingly middle-aged and increasingly disillusioned by modern football, I want to share with you how good football used to be before it was ruined by money. 
Your right, definitely worst player ever.