So now that the mighty All Whites have made it back to the World Cup, it seems like a good opportunity to reflect on the glory of their 1982 campaign. Let’s start off with this humorous clip form the ‘Unauthorised History of New Zealand.’
On to serious business. No World Cup campaign, apart from England 2010 it would appear, is complete without an official World Cup anthem. The 1982 vintage New Zealand recorded two singles with Ray Woolf, apparently a popular Kiwi musician at the time. As ever with football songs, I feel it necessary to warn you before you listen, this is pretty lame:
With the tune firmly in place, we move on to the tournament. New Zealand were participating in the World Cup for the first time, along with Algeria, Cameroon, Honduras and Kuwait. The most surprising absentees from the finals were those of 1974 and 1978 runners-up Netherlands and North America’s powerhouse Mexico. New Zealand were put in a fairly tough group, as minnows always are, but any team put in a group with Scotland can at nearly always least look forward to one hilarious result. So bad were New Zealand, however, that even the Scots couldn’t manage to lose to them.
15th June, 1982: Scotland 5 – 2 New Zealand
Not off to the best start, and things didn’t get much better in the second game against the Soviet Union.
19th June, 1982: USSR 3 – 0 New Zealand
New Zealand were out after their first two games. Could they salvage some pride against the mighty Brazil in their final group game? Could they bugger.
23rd June, 1982: Brazil 4 – 0 New Zealand
Three matches, three wallopings: the All Whites weren’t even responsible for Scotland’s traditional early exit, the Scots managing that for themselves this time by failing to only lose narrowly to Brazil.
A -10 goal difference from three defeats represents one of the worst performances in World Cup history. Will the 2010 vintage prove any more successful or are there really no easy games in modern international football? Having beaten the likes of Fiji and Vanuatu in their rigorous qualifying campaign, who can say?
Increasingly middle-aged and increasingly disillusioned by modern football, I want to share with you how good football used to be before it was ruined by money. 
Great memories, apart from that dreadful Ray Woolf effort, what a shocker. Will be great to see the all whites back on the big stage, thanks to the aussies moving to Asia!!!!