Half-time analysis:
“I’m no footballing expert but it seems to me that the team in white are playing better than the team in red.”
“Liverpool are predictable even on the biggest occasions. I mean, who’d have thought Harry Kewell would go off injured when they went a goal down? Eh? All we need now is Stephen Gerrard to ping lots of 50-yard passes straight into row Z and Jerzy Dudek to let the ball roll between his legs.”
“I figured it would be more fun to come back to the office and crunch numbers than watch any more of that garbage. “Two observations: 1. Kewell looks like that kid from the TV show Third Rock from the Sun – he’s an ineffective wisp of a player and they should rid themselves of his services next season. 2. Baros looks like a catfish. Whenever the camera flashes his way he looks like he’s just swallowed a hook.”
“Glad to hear our own little scouser, StevieG has been pinging the ball around to no great effect, as per usual. Am I alone in relishing thoughts of the obligatory tears and badge-kissing extravaganza planned for full time before he does one to Chelsea next week?”
“Who are they trying to kid in England about the standard of Football? Those Liverpool greats must be turning in their graves to see such a useless, lifeless performance. Sorry Bill, sorry Emlyn, sorry Tommy. Gerrard you can’t even think of walking in their shadows. Harry go back to your Roos son, you are out of your class.”
Barry Glendenning, Wednesday 25th May, 2005
