On the 16th of January 2024, Namibia caused a minor footballing shock by beating Tunisia at the Africa Cup of Nations. This was their first win in the history of the competition and came against a side ranked 87 places above them by FIFA. Moreover, Tunisia won the tournament back in 2004 and have made the final on two other occasions.
However, whilst Namibia, a land known for its huge sand dunes, impressive wildlife and vast open spaces – it is the second-least densely populated nation on the planet – are no football giants, they are far from the worst team in the world. In fact, Namibia currently occupy the lofty heights of 117 in the FIFA rankings. And given there are 211 nations included, they are very much mid-table in global terms. So, who are the worst international teams in the world?
San Marino: 211 in the World (Dead Last)
San Marino is a UN nation state and is classed as a microstate. There are only four smaller countries in the world and it has a population of just 34,000. It is a landlocked enclave, entirely surrounded by Italy and, at the time of writing, props up the FIFA standings, down in a lowly 211th place.
San Marino, beaten 10-0 (at home!) by England in November 2021, did once reach the dizzying ranking of 118, back in 1993, but they have an average rank of 182. In December 2023 they were up in 210th, making it as high as 207th in the autumn of that year. However, they are unquestionably one of the very worst nations in the world when it comes to football and, right now, are technically the worst of them all.
There are almost countless ways of showing just how bad they are but one of the less obvious is the fact that their second-highest goalscorer(s) of all time have just two goals. Andy Selva, their goal king, has notched eight times for his nation, putting him way out in front, albeit with just one more international goal than Harry Maguire!
As for England, they have met San Marino eight times and won all eight by an aggregate total of 52-1, the closest contests being a trio of 5-0 wins for the Three Lions. Indeed, the microstate have never won a single game in qualifying for either the World Cup or the Euros. Their record at the former reads played 76, lost 74, with two draws and a goal difference of minus 344! In European Championship qualifying they have lost 85 out of 86 and their goal difference is even worse, at minus 360!
Bad as San Marino are, their results are no surprise given how small their pool of players is. Their population is some way shy of Salisbury’s 42,000, or the “whopping” 53,000 of Hereford. And we suspect those towns would struggle somewhat if they had to play England, Germany, Spain, Italy and other European heavyweights.
Nonetheless, San Marino have suffered some truly humbling defeats over the years. In 2006 they were thrashed 13-0 on home soil by Germany, their record loss. But perhaps the most telling stat when it comes to just how bad they are is that they won only one game in their whole history. They beat Liechtenstein 1-0 in 2004 and, in fact, also boast two draws from six games against the fellow minnow.
Is Anyone Worse Than San Marino?
As said, right now, San Marino are propping up the FIFA standings but they certainly have rivals for tag of “world’s worst team” in international football. An obvious place to start is the only team that San Marino have ever beaten, Liechtenstein. Another microstate, Liechtenstein is the sixth smallest nation on the planet and has a population of just 39,000.
Right now, however, they are flying high, up at 194 in the standings and ahead of another European minnow, Gibraltar (21st). Like San Marino, Liechtenstein once were ranked as high as 118 and whilst their average “score” of 155 is much better than their rivals, there is no doubt they are one of the worst football nations around. And they got beaten by San Marino, something no other side can say!
Anguilla Contenders for Worst of the Worst
Anguilla is a British overseas territory in the Caribbean and has a population of about 16,000. Currently behind only San Marino, their best ranking is far worse than the Italian enclave, standing at 189, whilst their average is a woeful 201. That said, they boast a massive eight wins in their history. They have beaten just three different teams though, British Virgin Islands, Saint Martin and Montserrat. Many would say they are worse than San Marino and this may well be true, their higher number of wins being a reflection of the fact that they play weaker local opponents, whereas San Marino are thrown in against European heavyweights (and England).
Gibraltar Rank 200 on Average
Gibraltar are currently ranked 201st but their average ranking is 200, marking them out as one of the worst nations in the world. Their highest rating came in 2018 when they hit 90th but they spent much of their history outside the world’s “best” 200 teams. Once beaten 14-0 by France, they boast eight wins against six different rivals. What’s more, they have a positive record against Liechtenstein, San Marino and Andorra and have played Armenia twice, winning one and losing the other. Whilst that average rank is among the very worst of the worst, those wins mean we feel they have to be considered to be better than San Marino (whom they have played twice, winning one and drawing the other).
Conclusion
As said, right now, San Marino are the worst national team in men’s football according to FIFA. The FIFA rankings do not always tell the whole truth but on balance it is hard to argue that San Marino are not “worthy” of their unwanted tag. Their average FIFA ranking is higher than some rivals due to their miraculous (and brief) ascent to 118th. However, the fact they have managed just a single win clearly marks them out as being simply dreadful.
Their head-to-head record is in negative equity against every side they have ever played. That said, they are certainly disadvantaged in that they play so many of their games against very decent opposition. In contrast, the likes of Anguilla, Bahamas and other island nations in the Caribbean, rarely, if ever, play anyone from beyond their own federation.
If Anguilla were to play San Marino there is every chance the European side would win. They have a population roughly twice the size and a stronger footballing culture. Who’s the worst side in the world? Well, seeing that it is a moniker nobody wants, we’ll let you decide!